The main one Where Monica Gets a New Roomie (The Pilot-The Uncut Adaptation)

The main one Where Monica Gets a New Roomie (The Pilot-The Uncut Adaptation)

Written by: Marta Kauffman & David Crane Transcribed by: guineapig extra transcribing by: Eric Aasen (Note: The escort service in indianapolis formerly unseen areas of this episode is revealed in bluish text.)

Chandler: Alright, therefore I’m in highschool, I’m waiting in the cafeteria, and I also recognize I am entirely naked.

Chandler: suddenly, the telephone starts to ring. Today I am not sure what you should do, every person initiate evaluating myself.

Chandler: Finally, I figure I’d much better answer it, a nd it turns out it is my mommy, which will be very-very unusual, because- she never calls me personally!

Ross: I just feel just like someone attained down my throat, grabbed my personal small bowel, drawn it of my personal mouth area and tied it around my throat.

Monica: Oh truly, so hysterical telephone call i acquired from a lady at sobbing 3:00 A.M., «I’ll most likely never need grandkids, I’ll never has grandchildren.» is exactly what? A wrong numbers?

Joey: Alright Ross, looks. You feel some serious pain immediately. You are crazy. You are injuring. Could I inform you what the response is?

Rachel: Oh Jesus Monica hi! Thank Goodness! I simply went to the strengthening and you also just weren’t truth be told there after which this person with a big hammer mentioned you are right here and you are, you might be!

Monica: (directed at Rachel) De-caff. (to any or all) Okay, everyone, this will be Rachel, another Lincoln tall survivor. (to Rachel) it is every person, this might be Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you keep in mind my brother Ross?

(they’re going to hug but Ross’s umbrella opens. He sits back overcome once again. An instant of silence observe as Rachel rests in addition to others count on the girl to explain.)

Rachel: Oh Goodness. well, it began about a half-hour prior to the event. I happened to be during the place in which we had been maintaining all the provides, and that I got taking a look at this gravy ship. This actually attractive Lamauge gravy boat. When out of the blue- (towards the waiter that put their coffee)sugary ‘n’ Lo?- I noticed that I found myself more switched on from this gravy vessel than by Barry! Right after which i obtained truly freaked-out, and that is with regards to struck myself: just how much Barry appears to be Mr. Potato mind. Y’know, i am talking about, I always realized searched common, but. Anyway, i simply was required to get free from truth be told there, and I also began questioning ‘the reason why was I doing this, and who in the morning we achieving this for?’. (to Monica) Thus in any event i simply don’t learn which place to go, and that I realize that you and We have kinda drifted apart, however you’re the actual only real people I realized who lived within the metropolis.

Rachel: Ooh, I found myself kinda wishing that couldn’t be an issue. [Scene: Monica’s house, most people are there and watching a Spanish detergent on television and are also racking your brains on what is going on.]

It is simply two people fun to supper and- not having gender

Phoebe, Ross, Chandler, and Joey: drive the girl down the stairs! Push the girl down the stairs! Push this lady down the stairways!

I just you shouldn’t love him

Rachel: C’mon father, pay attention to me! It’s like, it really is like, every one of my entire life, everyone has constantly told me, ‘You’re a shoe! You’re a shoe, you are a shoe, you’re a shoe!’. And today i simply ceased and I said, ‘Can you imagine I do not want to become a shoe? Can you imagine I wanna getting a- a purse, y’know? Or a- or a hat! No, I am not stating i really want you buying myself a hat, i am saying Im a ha- It’s a metaphor, father!

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